Monday, July 28, 2008

Out of Balance

. Monday, July 28, 2008

Things seem to be a little out of balance lately. Life seems a bit off-kilter. The only alone time I have every day is when I take Sofie out for her evening walk. It's usually about 8:30 at night and right after I've put my son to bed. We typically walk for about 1/2 hour. Seems my mind has been quite full lately, and it's been been hard to stay focused the last few months. I think a lot about work and how busy I've been. It's a good thing though and wouldn't really call how busy I am as "stress". I really, really enjoy my job, but it seems to take up a lot of my focus.

Family seems to take up whatever remaining focus and energy I have. There's always a "honey-do" list a mile long that never seems to get any shorter. I think about my son a lot too and how good (or bad) of a father I've been to him lately. I was feeling pretty guilty lately because it didn't seem like spent the highest quality time with him. Be it known, that I always read him a book at night, play with his toys, and hang out and watch Noggin with him. But I was thinking about how I've failed to keep up with the more traditional father/son activities - especially spending time outdoors. It's kind of a lame excuse, but, needless to say, it's pretty hot and muggy out in the summer. Playing freeze tag or practicing soccer drills outside isn't my first choice of things to do after I just got done mowing the lawn. But that's what we did on Saturday. Boo Jr and I also went on a bike ride for the first time in a long time on Saturday too. Well, Boo Jr did the riding while I walked along side of him to keep him on course.

Getting back on topic, there've been too many thoughts going on in my mind lately. Not that I "worry" about some of these things but they take up space in my mind. For example, my brother inlaw and his wife have been having some pretty bad arguments lately. His wife and my wife talk quite a bit about how much of an asshole he's been. Of course, I hear all the details too. I try to be the dutiful husband and listen to my wife about all this stuff. These things just clog up the traffic in my brain that should be reserved for more important things.

Sometimes I even "worry" about what's going on in the world in general. I think about the election, the economy, and whatever the latest happenings in the news are. Things like the economy get me thinking about our own finances. Too much information! It's just one vicious circle going on my head. Maybe I need to take up yoga or something.

What I really need to do is start riding my bike again. It's a great stress reliever. The alone time would give me more time for my brain to sort all these things out. Maybe the problem isn't that I've got too much stuff in my brain. Maybe the problem is that I don't give myself enough time to sort it all out and "file things away". I know that riding my bike again would help with my energy level (or lack there of) too. But like so many good intentions, sometimes it's hard to find the motivation. Who has time to do anything anymore? After dealing with work and family, I'm pooped. I think that that's been my biggest challenge since I got married and even more so after having Boo Jr - finding balance in my life. And being out of balance is not a good way to live.


Anonymous said...

Everyone needs time alone. If you get more time on your bike you will be more able to focus 100% when you are with your family. Exercise doesn't take up your energy, it gives you energy!

I learned when I was on my own with my boys that you have to take care of yourself to operate at your best with family or at work etc. Think of it like the oxygen mask on a plane --- in an emergency you have to put your own mask on before you can help the kid next to you with his mask. Your bike is your oxygen mask.


The Thrifty Blogger said...

well said newt! :)

Cinnabitch said...

I think that part of being a grown up is that we become more aware of everything going on in the world. It is a scary place; not the wide world of fun and excitement that we looked forward to as kids. When we have children, it becomes even more stressful, and we worry about what may be in store for them. If you need to spend time alone to relax and clear your mind, also remember that your spouse is there to share with you. And I can tell you from personal experience that the years pass much more quickly than you can ever imagine. It seems like just yesterday my daughters were learning how to walk, and my son was imitating his daddy and using his finger to "shave" the lather off his face. My children are grown, and my grandchildren are here. Cherish every moment with your son. We share the same weather & I wouldn't be out in it either. Find indoor stuff to do...finger paint, bake cookies, turn your AC to frigid, and create a hunting/fishing lodge indoors. Drink cocoa. Go fishing with construction paper fish (peel & stick magnet square on back)...make coat hanger fishing poles (attach paperclip for hook). Make a tent (sheet over table) and camp out. (Personal experiences & preschool teaching curriculum)) Your pal, Cinnabitch